How to ensure you fail an AC interview
Posted: Fri Nov 15, 2019 1:51 pm
With the new PML 2019 you may have seen the 90% acceptance and wondered, "How can I possibly fail this interview". It may seem like you're a shoe in and youll have no problem moving on from the regionals, but im here to give you the career ruinning tips that will help you get PFOed as quick as possible. So without further delay lets get a start in ending your career.
Lets start with preperation. First of all don't learn anything about the company, it's not important it's that simple. As for the documents they ask for print them on different colored cardboard and shuffle them up, they can't help but pay attetion to that. Ensure you exagerate you accomplishments on your resume, pad those hours and show them how you where a mentor even when you where a co-pilot doing no real traning whatsoever. Now the most important thing is how you dress, and if you're a captain making millions of dollars a year like me you have to show you have the sand to flash some cash. The most expensive shoes possible, the look doesnt matter just that they are pricey. The suit should be flashy, it should catch the eye along the line of Don Cherry. If your eyes dont bleed looking at it how will anyone else notice you? Accessorize, watches with faces as big as hockey pucks and gold jewellery around every square inch of exposed skin. For a real power play wear your captains hat to show you will settle for nothing less than direct entry 777 skipper. Now you look like a total moron and you're well on your way to not even being let into the building.
As for the day itself. Walk in confident like you own the place, puff your chest out and speak down to those low life office workers like the sky god you are. HR will love the fact you are putting them in their place and asserting your dominance. For good mesure make some offhanded comments about how AC isnt your be all end all and that you could easily have been a captain at Westjet by now. This will humble them. When they sit in the room with you take up a seat on the same side of the table as them, remember you already belong here. When the questions are asked become defensive, answer their question with questions if required until their initial inquiry is so convoluted they are confused and you hold the upper hand. If they ask you about your career you refuse, your resume and reputation should be all they need on that front. Ensure you stare them in the eyes, unblinking and unphased you should terrify their very soul at the thought of hiring you. Now at this point theyll probably cut the interview short and ask you to leave, press them for more questions but provide no answers, let them fill in the blanks with your bravado.
A quick pointer now on the psyc test.. if you haven't been tazed and wrestled out of the building like the entitled swine you are that is.... This test is not serious, be sarcastic, make some jokes no one will read it anyways.
Now that youve been escorted off the property by the local PD you think your job is well and done. But that would be a big mistake only a rookie would make, there is still a lot left to do. First post up on some forums asking why you didnt get accepted, then berate anyone that constructively criticizes you so you only get hate. Then convince yourself the regionnals are better anyways, its the only way you're avoiding a mental break down now so may as well post that online too.
Now for the years to come the work still continues. Become hard and crusty even at a young age and complain and give flak to everyone remotly associated with AC, no one desrve happiness but you. Take your frustration out on your FOs until HR is forced to take you off flying and put you on stress leave were youll find the best type to get checked out on for you.... the mahogany bomber.
I hope this helps the less delusionnal of you all become a ace pilot like me. If you have any questions, send me a message and I will only charge 5.99$ per response.
Lets start with preperation. First of all don't learn anything about the company, it's not important it's that simple. As for the documents they ask for print them on different colored cardboard and shuffle them up, they can't help but pay attetion to that. Ensure you exagerate you accomplishments on your resume, pad those hours and show them how you where a mentor even when you where a co-pilot doing no real traning whatsoever. Now the most important thing is how you dress, and if you're a captain making millions of dollars a year like me you have to show you have the sand to flash some cash. The most expensive shoes possible, the look doesnt matter just that they are pricey. The suit should be flashy, it should catch the eye along the line of Don Cherry. If your eyes dont bleed looking at it how will anyone else notice you? Accessorize, watches with faces as big as hockey pucks and gold jewellery around every square inch of exposed skin. For a real power play wear your captains hat to show you will settle for nothing less than direct entry 777 skipper. Now you look like a total moron and you're well on your way to not even being let into the building.
As for the day itself. Walk in confident like you own the place, puff your chest out and speak down to those low life office workers like the sky god you are. HR will love the fact you are putting them in their place and asserting your dominance. For good mesure make some offhanded comments about how AC isnt your be all end all and that you could easily have been a captain at Westjet by now. This will humble them. When they sit in the room with you take up a seat on the same side of the table as them, remember you already belong here. When the questions are asked become defensive, answer their question with questions if required until their initial inquiry is so convoluted they are confused and you hold the upper hand. If they ask you about your career you refuse, your resume and reputation should be all they need on that front. Ensure you stare them in the eyes, unblinking and unphased you should terrify their very soul at the thought of hiring you. Now at this point theyll probably cut the interview short and ask you to leave, press them for more questions but provide no answers, let them fill in the blanks with your bravado.
A quick pointer now on the psyc test.. if you haven't been tazed and wrestled out of the building like the entitled swine you are that is.... This test is not serious, be sarcastic, make some jokes no one will read it anyways.
Now that youve been escorted off the property by the local PD you think your job is well and done. But that would be a big mistake only a rookie would make, there is still a lot left to do. First post up on some forums asking why you didnt get accepted, then berate anyone that constructively criticizes you so you only get hate. Then convince yourself the regionnals are better anyways, its the only way you're avoiding a mental break down now so may as well post that online too.
Now for the years to come the work still continues. Become hard and crusty even at a young age and complain and give flak to everyone remotly associated with AC, no one desrve happiness but you. Take your frustration out on your FOs until HR is forced to take you off flying and put you on stress leave were youll find the best type to get checked out on for you.... the mahogany bomber.
I hope this helps the less delusionnal of you all become a ace pilot like me. If you have any questions, send me a message and I will only charge 5.99$ per response.