The divorce thread
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Re: The divorce thread
If this thread represents the feelings of a broader group, then I am truly depressed. In the example above there are a number of things that are expressed as though they are common. First, why would each person in a supposed union manage their money independently? They're supposed to be in it together. And even if they choose to, why would they not discuss the behaviour of each other and work toward common goals? A marriage is supposed to be much more than just being roommates.
Should there be a joint decision that one person stays home to look after the children it has to be viewed that they are contributing just as much, if not more, than the person that makes money.
Job relocation, promotions, career changes have to be joint decisions and can only be effective if there is a true commitment to a life-long partnership. This takes a lot of work, a lot of give and take and a willingness on both sides to give as well as take.
So many people these days seem to enter marriage as something that is temporary and only really committed to until something disappoints them or they feel stifled in some way. Marriage is all about shared success - both yours as well as your partner, and also shared commitment to overcome the disappointments - together. So many people say "You're so lucky" when they hear someone has been married 40 years. It's not luck - it's hard work and commitment. Which I guess is the real problem for so many people these days.
Should there be a joint decision that one person stays home to look after the children it has to be viewed that they are contributing just as much, if not more, than the person that makes money.
Job relocation, promotions, career changes have to be joint decisions and can only be effective if there is a true commitment to a life-long partnership. This takes a lot of work, a lot of give and take and a willingness on both sides to give as well as take.
So many people these days seem to enter marriage as something that is temporary and only really committed to until something disappoints them or they feel stifled in some way. Marriage is all about shared success - both yours as well as your partner, and also shared commitment to overcome the disappointments - together. So many people say "You're so lucky" when they hear someone has been married 40 years. It's not luck - it's hard work and commitment. Which I guess is the real problem for so many people these days.
Being stupid around airplanes is a capital offence and nature is a hanging judge!
“It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.”
Mark Twain
“It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.”
Mark Twain
Re: The divorce thread
If you look only for your partner to fulfill you, your relationships will fail. Humans are inherently selfish people and you can't find your satisfaction in others. It's sad to see so many people I've known end their relationships because they never understood this.
Re: The divorce thread
Nicely said, but probably an unwelcome intrusion of reason into this thread. LOL.5x5 wrote:If this thread represents the feelings of a broader group, then I am truly depressed. In the example above there are a number of things that are expressed as though they are common. First, why would each person in a supposed union manage their money independently? They're supposed to be in it together. And even if they choose to, why would they not discuss the behaviour of each other and work toward common goals? A marriage is supposed to be much more than just being roommates.
Should there be a joint decision that one person stays home to look after the children it has to be viewed that they are contributing just as much, if not more, than the person that makes money.
Job relocation, promotions, career changes have to be joint decisions and can only be effective if there is a true commitment to a life-long partnership. This takes a lot of work, a lot of give and take and a willingness on both sides to give as well as take.
So many people these days seem to enter marriage as something that is temporary and only really committed to until something disappoints them or they feel stifled in some way. Marriage is all about shared success - both yours as well as your partner, and also shared commitment to overcome the disappointments - together. So many people say "You're so lucky" when they hear someone has been married 40 years. It's not luck - it's hard work and commitment. Which I guess is the real problem for so many people these days.
Good judgment comes from experience. Experience often comes from bad judgment.
Re: The divorce thread
Well, I have been a full time working pilot for 45 years. I have been married to the same understanding and loyal wife for nearly 44 of them. However, I passed up any flying that would take me away from home for longer terms and some years in the 70's and 80's I was away for a maximum of two or three days at a time in a logging camp. We are still happily married and I am still, at 66, flying full time. So yes, it can be done.
Bob
Bob
Re: The divorce thread
You're so lucky your partner wants to work on it and commit to it as much as you want.5x5 wrote:So many people say "You're so lucky" when they hear someone has been married 40 years. It's not luck - it's hard work and commitment. Which I guess is the real problem for so many people these days.
As an AvCanada discussion grows longer:
-the probability of 'entitlement' being mentioned, approaches 1
-one will be accused of using bad airmanship
-the probability of 'entitlement' being mentioned, approaches 1
-one will be accused of using bad airmanship
Re: The divorce thread
Could be reasonable in terms of a relationship but it is inevitable that a certain percentage of marriages will be unsuccessful. Whe laws are blatantly made that give a certain gender a massive financial unfair benefit, people get upset. And many take preventative action to secure and enjoy their OWN money. As a general statement. It can't be an enjoyable feeling cutting that large monthly cheque to someone you particularly don't like and who made wild, false allegations and tried to do everything to prevent you from seeing the kids.cncpc wrote: Nicely said, but probably an unwelcome intrusion of reason into this thread. LOL.
Last edited by pelmet on Mon Aug 08, 2016 11:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: The divorce thread
Well done Beaver Bob, that is truly inspiring.
It really is a matter of priority.
cheers
It really is a matter of priority.
cheers
Go west young men, go west...
Re: The divorce thread
I remember and old guy married 50 or 60 years asked if he and his wife had ever thought about divorce. His reply was "Divorce? Never! Murder yes but divorce never".
Re: The divorce thread
Excellent post by 5x5 and that is really the crux of the matter. There are no easy routes.