Stupid Linecrew Tricks!

Hun IN the SUN · Post by **Hun IN the SUN** » Tue Feb 15, 2005 2:16 am

I have the mother of all ramp story`s

for those not familiar with the lav service on the B737-200. There are two one in the front right side. The second one is aft under the fuselage but quite high off the ground. Well this ramp guy was servicing the aft lav and standing on the lav cart directly under it. I guess he didnt have it properly secured. Cuz when he pulled the handle he was looking straight up and it gave way. I remember seeing him just get completely shit faced. It could not of been worse either. It was just like standing under the shower. The funniest thing was not all the toilet paper stuck in his teeth but he had a perfect turd sitting in his brest pocket. Poor guy. Defininatly felt bad for him but sure laugh my ass off whenever i tell that story.

Another one was seeing a hummer [deceased] cargo. go FLYING off the pallet and doing multiple flips before breaking apart and then the black bag came out and was layin on the ramp. That one is not soo funny

hazatude · Post by **hazatude** » Sat Oct 15, 2005 6:36 pm

Right Seat Captain · Post by **Right Seat Captain** » Sat Oct 15, 2005 7:08 pm

hazatude wrote:

You must have something better than to do than bring up a thread from FEBRUARY, and with only a couple of smileys no less!

Oops, its Haz, nevermind.

hazatude · Post by **hazatude** » Sat Oct 15, 2005 7:10 pm

I was figuring that people might have some more funny stories to add.

But I guess you feel that a boring and stale board is a good board...

Check Pilot · Post by **Check Pilot** » Sat Oct 15, 2005 7:45 pm

Have a look at the humour forum.

I found the Exploding lav story. (True story, by the way).

Whisky 1 · Post by **Whisky 1** » Sat Oct 15, 2005 8:33 pm

I worked the ramp for a few years and I can think of two pranks that we often tried on the new guys.

We actually sent a guy all over the hanger looking for prop wash. He went to every office until a mechanic finally gave him a pail full of water and sent him back to us. It was funny as hell.

My favourite thing to do to was to wait for a Falcon 10 to arrive then I would Start fuelling it and ask the new guy to finish the single point fuelling. Then I would stand back and wait for him to start looking for the fuell cap. (Falcon 10's don't have a cap on the single point) Then he would get on the radio and ask where the cap was and we would tell him that the pilot has it and to just go ask him for it. Of course the pilot looked at him like he was out of his mind or we would tell the crew what we were up to and have them make a big deal over the "missing" cap. Lots O Fun!

oldtimer · Post by **oldtimer** » Sat Oct 15, 2005 9:44 pm

Years ago, sitting in the flight lounge, heard a new girl pageing Herman Nelson to go to the heater shop and Al Timiter to go to the instrument shop and finally Miss Carriage to the nurses office. On the second time, she caught on mid sentence. Then came a legitimate call for a mechanic who went by the nickname Tiger Lily. She wouldn't page him till she was let in on the jokes. Dumbest thing I ever witnessed was when a new super effecient ground crew supervisor who decided to clean up a storage area and took $20,000 worth of quarintined but salvagable parts to the dump.
Also saw the aftermath when a mechanic attempted to start a Metro engine with the plugs still in. When that engine would not start, he tried the other one. Destroyed two engines. Also had a rampey who was polishing a Metro and stuffing used paper towels into the air intake so they wouldn't blow away but forgot to take them out when a mechanic went to start the engine. Did no damage but there were a few tense moments. Funniest was when I asked a rampy to help me unload a passenger sitting in the back seat of a Beaver. He jumped in, took the guys arm and then asked "What is this guys problem". I said there was no problem, he was dead. Guy fainted and fell into the lake and damn near drowned.

grimey · Post by **grimey** » Sat Oct 15, 2005 10:41 pm

Watched a rampie loading cargo release a 15' long sheet of poly wrap from a pallet. Marvelled as it passed by several other guys on the ground, who did nothing, got hooked on the tail for about 15 seconds, and then got sucked off into the prop of another plane. The other plane had just landed, was full of passengers, and was from the same company. All the guys on the ramp just watched it and shrugged.

mellow_pilot · Post by **mellow_pilot** » Sun Oct 16, 2005 12:33 am

When I was at CRGS in Trenton one of the officers remarked to his student that the wind seemed stronger than the sock was indicating. His student agreed. So the officer sends the student out to check the volt meter. After about 20 min of walking around a pole our hero comes back and states loudly, "It reads 11 volts, sir."

cargo_guy · Post by **cargo_guy** » Sun Oct 16, 2005 3:43 am

Who's Herman Nelson?

grounded · Post by **grounded** » Sun Oct 16, 2005 7:23 am

I did this to a co-worker when we worked at an Aerocentre together. He was working morning shift and I had the afternoon. At the end of his shift he put his uniform in the washer and asked me to put it in the dryer for him. Instead of the dryer his clothes went straight into the deep freeze next to the dryer. The look on his face when he found the ball of frozen uniform was priceless. This was the start of a theme that lasted for months. I would find all of my uniforms hanging in the freezer, looking perfectly pressed, but being frozen solid instead. Also a real bitch to get in the dryer. I took his work boots, wrapped them in plastic bags and put them into this really large tub, got three guys to help me lift it into the freezer after I filled it with water, and came in on Monday morning to see how he made out. He was standing over the floor drain in the hangar with a garden hose shooting hot water onto this brick of ice that contained his boots. Took him almost half an hour to get them out! Then he made the mistake of showing a fear of spiders, but that's another story. Not really aviation related but still a couple of good pranks.

Gurundu the Rat · Post by **Gurundu the Rat** » Sun Oct 16, 2005 8:16 am

Funny this topic should come up. Just yesterday in YUL after our puchback the groundcrew disconnects the towbar and hightails it for the closest breakroom as we finish our pre taxi checklist. We got about 10 feet when we realized the nosewheel steering was not responding even though the switch was on and hydraulics were good. So we had to call stoc to get the ground (who were already well established into their break) back on the ramp to reconnect the steering linkage. A pretty daunting task when its raining.

Duder · Post by **Duder** » Sun Oct 16, 2005 8:22 am

I was heading through the hangar to get changed and I heard some voices out the fire exit. I went up on the roof to check out what was going on. It was 5 kids drinking beers. I hopped in an ambulance that was airside and drove around the hangar. I hit the cherries, have the siren a little whoop, and got on the PA, "Ok boys party's over, drop the beer and get outta here!" They dropped the beer and ran all the way back to mommie's place. The beer did not go to waste.

Yoyoma · Post by **Yoyoma** » Sun Oct 16, 2005 8:30 am

Right Seat Captain wrote:
hazatude wrote:
You must have something better than to do than bring up a thread from FEBRUARY, and with only a couple of smileys no less!

Oops, its Haz, nevermind.

I'm glad he brought it back! I'd missed that one!

Funny Shit

twinpratts · Post by **twinpratts** » Sun Oct 16, 2005 9:32 am

I agree... a good laugh for a sunday morning!

Isis · Post by **Isis** » Sun Oct 16, 2005 9:40 am

A friend of a friend of mine (not me of course) was very eager on her first day of famil gliding. Not knowing anything about flying (except that it was cool) she wanted to learn as much as she could. So much in fact that when the officer was concerned about the lack of wind indication she (the friend of a friend) was quick to volunteer to make sure that the wind sock was plugged in.

Needless to say, I - uh I mean the friend - was quite tired after running all over the field looking for the outlet!

- Isis

BirdDog IV · Post by **BirdDog IV** » Sun Oct 16, 2005 10:23 am

Here's one nobody has probably heard before.

While unloading a DC8 Freighter, the last pallet in the rear of the plane is turned 90-degrees ( so the narrow end faces the tail/nose )..had, strapped to it, what looked like an oversized metal barrel.
When we approached it, we could smell something very unusuall, very strange.
Not knowing what the smell was, we decided to look into the barrel that was laying on its side. It had a heavy wire grate on the front. Upon closer inspection we found the paperwork that told us it was a male grizzly bear 2-1/2 yrs old. It also said stay back from front of cage as to not upset the animal.

WELL.....thats all WE needed to see.

One of our guys came up with a plan.

First we removed the sign.
Second we disconnected the small over head lights in the last 3 pallet positions to make the back of the plane VERY very dark... requiring a flaslight to be used to unlock the pallet and inspect the cargo before pushing the pallet all the way to the front.
Third, we rounded up 5 of the most junior rampies to come upstairs and unload this last pallet.

We watched as the rookies came onboard and walked to the rear of the acft. When they were right in front of the cage ( which they had no idea of what was inside ) one of them turned on their flashlight and startled the bear who then charged the front of the cage roaring and showing his teeth makeing a very frightning sound.
Those rookies screamed - sprinted all the way to the front of the acft in about 2 seconds, right off the bridge loader and hit the ground still running.

One of the funniest things I had seen in a while.

Unless you count the time we scared a female co-worker by putting a live body (rampie) into an empty coffin waiting to be shipped.
He had a radio, and we told him when the best time to Pop the Lid would be, right in front of a lady who was walking about 2 feet in front of it.
She screamed so loud everyone from the office came running out, and we couldn't get her to stop crying and shaking for about 20-minutes....

Good times!

FREEFALL · Post by **FREEFALL** » Sun Oct 16, 2005 11:07 am

Phantom, those are way too funny.

mellow_pilot · Post by **mellow_pilot** » Sun Oct 16, 2005 11:12 am

that's killer!!!!

cinical · Post by **cinical** » Sun Oct 16, 2005 11:43 pm

My roommate was taxiing out with his Captain one day and called up ground on the company freq. in dispatch where I was standing.....oh jesus.....u should have seen the smile on my face as I grabbed the mike.

"......Ground ABCD on Hotel, out the 030...5500...VFR company note..."

"ahh ...roger taxi for runway 22 via delta and golf..... winds 270 @ 15 altimeter 29.57...." i said...trying to sound as confident as possible

He read it back as if nothing was wrong as I watched his plane get closer to the taxi line(not the actual runway line dont worry).
I could have cleared him for take-off no problem.....but realized two things.

I would be out of a job and looking for a new roommate and friend............but fun as hell.

Uncomfortable Silence · Mon Oct 17, 2005 8:34 am

While working the ramp, we watched another crew push back a 737-200. They attached the tow bar to the a/c but only set the bar on the tug attachment and forgot to put the pin in. This is when we discovered that the ramp has a very slight incline. Guy in the tug starts the push and suddenly notices as he starts to turn that the a/c is pulling away from him. He tries to call the flightdeck on the ground intercom but the a/c got just far enough away to pull the cord out of the headset. As the a/c picks up speed the crew looks up (usually the crew would start no. 2 on the pushback) and sees the tug all free. They hammer the brakes saving the a/c from shooting off the backside of the ramp. The funniest thing was watching the guy walking the outside wing try to keep up at a full sprint as the a/c picked up speed and started to turn. I guess he was real determined to make sure that wing was clear.

Big Pratt · Post by **Big Pratt** » Wed Oct 19, 2005 1:32 pm

My funniest one was when a girl rampie got accidentally locked in the fwd cargo hold of a Fokker for about 10 minutes. She went in to take a look at the cute puppy whose cage was strapped all the way at the front and another guy just gave a quick look around not seeing her and closed the door. She was in tears when she came out.
Some passenger complained about the pounding on the floor to the F/A as they were finishing boarding...

I also own a 74 Super Beetle in mint condition so sometimes just for fun I ask the parts guy at Canadian tire to quote me a price on a new radiator

Northern Skies · Post by **Northern Skies** » Wed Oct 19, 2005 1:54 pm

^that once happened at UPS in KSDF...... except the guy ended up in korea!

hell it even happened to me on the '27. There's even a placard on the inside of the fairing (100 series) for such an occasion.

HavaJava · Post by **HavaJava** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 4:24 pm

One of the new CSRs at CYKZ once got blown 50 feet across the ramp by a Falcon 2000 breaking away from the chocks...quite the flight for her but she landed in the grass and wasn't hurt.

I had the same girl page a "Craven Moorhead" multiple times over the CYKZ terminal PA