the most important topic of all

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cessnate
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the most important topic of all

Post by cessnate »

i'm ok with leaving the city,i'll deal just fine with the hard work, the low pay, the lack of showers, the cold climate and the lack of nav aids. but what i need to know most of all is.......are there any women up there in the NWT?
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chipmunk
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Post by chipmunk »

JD has some good info in this thread... heh heh

http://www.avcanada.ca/forums2/viewtopi ... ht=#106676
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Northern Skies
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Post by Northern Skies »

I don't know about yellowknife, but I can honestly say that a lack of female companionship was the hardest issue to deal with this summer. Not that there weren't any women in town, but there was no time to go and pursue those interests. You're right in your concerns.

now I'm on the prowl!
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Donald
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Post by Donald »

YZF? Ummmm....in a word: NO.

Unless you bring your own.

Or maybe, maybe, during the summer when the students are in town.




Otherwise.....NO.
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water wings
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Post by water wings »

what is wrong with you guys? doesn't the sheer joy of flying do it for ya? my ideal job? a plane, and ... well, that's it..
sheesh :roll:
and you say WE'RE clingy. get outta here. fly or fix somethin' already.
go on. scoot!!
you can make it on yer own.
leave the airpump at home.
boys. :smt084
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Post by grouchy »

WW "airpump"?

Is that your nick name for it? :lol:
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Post by The Old Fogducker »

Nate:

When you tire of a nightly blind date with "5 Fingers Mary" and a skin mag, you can always mail order something made of life-like latex. They come in plain brown wrappers and are designed for quick & easy cleanup. I recommend discretion though, sometimes the buzzing and sounds of hydraulic action can be heard by your fellow pilot roomies and they'll be poking fun at you ... decidely uncool around the breakfast table of the pilot house.

When the novelty of using that "backpressure relief appliance" wears off, you'll find yourself looking at an occaisional local and saying to yourself .... huuuummmm that one's not too bad. Fills out a pair of jeans and a T shirt pretty well.

That should be your first sign its time to get the hell out of there but rarely will pilots be sensible enough to heed their own internal early warning device.

After every one of the somewhat good-looking nurses and camp cooks have given you the cold shoulder, the next phase usually involves a little too much booze one night and a roll in the hay with some beast you wouldn't have looked at twice down south without either barfing or breaking out laughing.

These are the kind of women that in your youth you'd have paid a quarter and entered a tent to see at a carnival freak show... which while momentarily gratifying in some very base almost sub-human kind of way ... has you about ready to kill yourself the next morning. For several days afterward, you'll be terrified of crabs or the dreaded drip and will be conducting "equipment inspections" on an hourly basis looking for any "unusual signs of movement in the forest" or discolouration. Every pee you take for days you hope doesn't start to sting and make you yelp like a dog that has just had its tail stepped on. If you're super-lucky, you'll escape long-term reproductive system harm.

That is the next highly serious, red lights flashing and sirens wailing warning to yourself to get out and hit the big city and bright lights. When you get there, cruise the street-walker area, pick out and and drill the most gorgeous looking, well trained blonde hooker in a super-short skirt and red heels you can find. Tell her you're down from the north and are in serious need of being cleaned out and her memory is going to have to last you a long, long time.

Treat her like a real lady and do it with her multiple times to "clear out the backlog" so to speak. You're definitely looking for the kind of girl you won't be taking home to mother. You'll remember her til you're 95 and be so grateful you'll tip quadruple her price and happily leave the hotel room broke....or left just enough to go and get a 12 pack to celebrate.

It is a million times cheaper (and safer) than going to a bar and spending hours trying to hit on and buy drinks for some broad with an eyepatch and tattoos that you will eventually find out has a boyfriend and he's coming to the bar to meet her after he gets off work at the mill at 11.

When he shows up, he looks like a pro wrestler that would love to dislocate both of your shoulders for the entertainment value because absolutely nothing is going to get near his "cutie." Its sort of like a bull moose protecting his "girl" during the rut. You don't want to get into a Rocky Mountain Sheep head butting contest with this guy ... don't be taht stupid.

Still, you aren't likely to follow that advice you're hearing in your head and you're slipping further down the slippery slope of northern relationships among a limited population base.

After that, its the super-desperate and dateless phase. This when you are most vulnerable and in the zone of greatest danger to your future. You try to latch onto something regular ... anything which has something ... anything .. in common with you no matter how far you have to stretch or compromise your values.

Whatever you do for Gods sake don't be dumb enough marry her. Above all, unless you like the concept of handing over about half of your already meager monthly salary for the next 18 years, don't get tricked into becoming a daddy....on purpose or by accident. Believe me, they will try some interesting acrobatics and manipulations to trap and contain your "male essense."

Understand this phase of your pilot life will damage your ability to interact with desireable women when you return to "normal" society. It will take the better part of a year to reintegrate into the dating scene when you get back down south. You will need to be rehabilitated and its a slow process.

If you think of yourself as going to war in a far away foreign land for awhile and conduct yourself accordingly, it will have certain similarities.

In a year or two, remember this post and you'll be surprised how correct I am.

Enjoy the flying, learn lots and get out.

Fog
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Last edited by The Old Fogducker on Thu Oct 27, 2005 2:48 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Northern Skies
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Post by Northern Skies »

^that post was awesome! I believe you.

Quoted several times this summer:

"Is she hot?"
"no."
"oh.......really?"
"no."
"ok"
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onceacop
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Post by onceacop »

The best read for a long time,
Thanks Fog
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Post by Rowdy »

we called most northern girls three baggers... One bag for your face... one for hers and one for anyone dumb enough to sneak a peak!
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Post by Harry Bagina »

Generally you have to import your girls from the south. If you were to enter a bar in the north(aka sausage factory), and see a hot girl, then quickly smash your beer bottle over a counter and fend her off with it from the others. Competition for da ladies is tough, so if you throw a quick,stiff left then you will be ahead of the game.


Worst case scenario rent lots of porn.
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water wings
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Post by water wings »

Harry Bagina wrote:Competition for da ladies is tough
and i thought competition for da jobs was tough.... why, oh why did i come back to this thread... another 3 minutes of my life GONE!!!!

i say again... boys. :roll:

fly safe... and "everything else you seem to need to do" safe.

:snakeman:
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Post by The Old Fogducker »

Cessnate:

I realized I never explained why you select the gorgeous blonde hooker in a super-short skirts and red heels.

The reason she just HAS to be blonde is because you'll have seen enough brunettes and dark hair to last more than a lifetime so you should select something very far removed from appearance of the locals!

Fog
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Last edited by The Old Fogducker on Wed Oct 26, 2005 8:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Cat Driver »

And most either have TB or VD, the ones with TB cough the others are a little harder to identify until its to late.

Cat
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Post by . ._ »

C'mon water wings, you know everyone needs a little lovin'- it reduces blood pressure, and is good to keep your medical valid!

Like Alistair McLeod says, "All of us are better when we're loved."

-istp :smt060
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Post by The Old Fogducker »

Exactly Cat .... most "Southern Pros" take far better care of the tools of their trade than the northern locals so you're actually far safer with some gorgeous creation who rents her assets by the hour.

Besides, you'll be so grateful to get rid of the "backlog" before it starts to jell and looks like cottage cheese that as I said earlier, you'll remember her til you're 95 when you're in a wheelchair drooling with a smile on your face in advanced stages of senility. She'll be the cause of that stupid grin on your face.

After all, you don't want to die of "DSBU" .... the medical shortform for Deadly Sperm Build Up ... sort of like blood poisioning ... if that stuff reaches your brain ... you're dead.

Fog
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Post by xsbank »

Oh Fog you brought up some memories that may just have ruined my afternoon. You're 100% gold-plated dyed in the wool right about DSBU, some guys get it bad, end up marrying the babe and never coming out of the bush, flying Beech 18s for the rest of their lives 'cause they're too ashamed. Nothing like bringing Billie and the kids to the parent's anniversary party and having (most of 'em) puke on the rug.
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Post by oldtimer »

I thought a 3 bagger was one for you, one for her and a second one for her just in case the first one gets disturbed.
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The average pilot, despite the somewhat swaggering exterior, is very much capable of such feelings as love, affection, intimacy and caring.
These feelings just don't involve anyone else.
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Post by Rowdy »

oldtimer wrote:I thought a 3 bagger was one for you, one for her and a second one for her just in case the first one gets disturbed.
hahahahaha Also a good use.. but remember.. all the poor shmucks living together in the many crew houses.. we have a tendency to walk in on things at the wrong times. Thats what the third bag is for!
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