High Flight poem, with commentary from DD

[DeskDriver]

Cartoons seem to piss people off. Why not corrupt poetry?

Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth

Whoops then! Hope you pass the piss-test

And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;

Actually, it wasn't silver. You should have deiced.

Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth

If you learned how to recover from a spin, you wouldn't have tumbled as badly.

Of sun-split clouds - and done a hundred things

I'll only say that women are people not things and done is a bit rude. You should say that "you shared intimacy" with them. But 100? Lets be honest. Frenching Becky during Camp is not "doing". And the 100? Isn't that the going rate for a quick "party" with the locally "available women"?

You have not dreamed of - wheeled and soared and swung

Swinging is now legal in Ontario. Good-on-ya!

High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there

Nothing wrong with being high. Did you get the results back from the piss-test?

I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung

Flung? Not like those monkeys at the zoo, I hope.

My eager craft through footless halls of air.

Not to be confused with the air people walk on. Air Jordan's! However, you've identified that people don't walk in the sky. I bet the results of the piss-test are going to stack up in your favour.

Up, up the long delirious, burning blue,

Long... notsomuch.. Delirious and burning, yes. 9 more pills to go and you'll be fine.

I've topped the windswept heights with easy grace

The problem is that it is because of Grace that it is burning... and... blue.

Where never lark, or even eagle flew -

Stupid Grace. And here you were worried about "one contaminated ice-cube"

And, while with silent lifting mind I've trod

Not easy on the way to the Lav given your state.

The high untresspassed sanctity of space,

By "High" you mean high. By sanctity of space you mean "somewhere private where you can scream"... Stupid Grace.

Put out my hand and touched the face of God.

God is what you call your penis, right?

[desksgo]

Swing and a miss...

[fanspeed]

big boo.

[DeskDriver]

Mh, my writers are on strike. What can I say

[Hedley]

I always liked this version:

Oh! I've slipped through the swirling clouds of dust,
a few feet from the dirt,
I've flown the Phantom low enough,
to make my bottom hurt.
I've TFO'd the deserts, hills, valleys
and mountains, where safe to do,
Frolicked in the trees,
where only flying squirrels flew.
Looked up at a lighthouse or two,
even disturbed the ram and ewe,
And done a hundred other things,
that you'd never want to do.
Just the guy in the back and me,
we’ve spent the night in terror of
things we could not see.
I've turned my eyes to heaven,
as I sweated through the flight,
Put out my hand and touched,
the master caution light.

And then there is the annotated version:

Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of earth(1),
And danced(2) the skies on laughter silvered wings;

Sunward I've climbed(3) and joined the tumbling mirth(4)
Of sun-split clouds(5) and done a hundred things(6)

You have not dreamed of -- Wheeled and soared and swung(7)
High in the sunlit silence(8). Hov'ring there(9)

I've chased the shouting wind(10) along and flung(11)
My eager craft through footless halls of air.

Up, up the long delirious(12), burning blue
I've topped the wind-swept heights(13) with easy grace,

Where never lark, or even eagle(14) flew;
And, while with silent, lifting mind I've trod

The high untrespassed sanctity of space(15),
Put out my hand(16), and touched the face of God.

NOTE:
1. Pilots must insure that all surly bonds have been slipped entirely before aircraft taxi or flight is attempted.

2. During periods of severe sky dancing, crew and passengers must keep seatbelts fastened. Crew should wear shoulderbelts as provided.

3. Sunward climbs must not exceed the maximum permitted aircraft ceiling.

4. Passenger aircraft are prohibited from joining the tumbling mirth.

5. Pilots flying through sun-split clouds under VFR conditions must comply with all applicable minimum clearances.

6. Do not perform these hundred things in front of Federal Aviation Administration inspectors.

7. Wheeling, soaring, and swinging will not be attempted except in aircraft rated for such activities and within utility class weight limits.

8. Be advised that sunlit silence will occur only when a major engine malfunction has occurred.

9. "Hov'ring there" will constitute a highly reliable signal that a flight emergency is imminent.

10. Forecasts of shouting winds are available from the local FSS. Encounters with unexpected shouting winds should be reported by pilots.

11. Pilots flinging eager craft through footless halls of air are reminded that they alone are responsible for maintaining separation from other eager craft.

12. Should any crewmember or passenger experience delirium while in the burning blue, submit an irregularity report upon flight termination.

13. Windswept heights will be topped by a minimum of 1,000 feet to maintain VFR minimum separations.

14. Aircraft engine ingestion of, or impact with, larks or eagles should be reported to the FAA and the appropriate aircraft maintenance facility.

15. Aircraft operating in the high untresspassed sanctity of space must remain in IFR flight regardless of meteorlogical conditions and visibility.

16. Pilots and passengers are reminded that opening doors or windows in order to touch the face of God may result in loss of cabin pressure.

[. ._]

Desk Driver,

You're smarter than that. I know you can do better.

Not bad though.

-istp

[DeskDriver]

istp

When I wrote that, I either had two beers too many, or two beers too few.

I'm not sure which, mind you.

Well, off for a beer.

[. ._]