Back to Class

[. ._]

Sun warmed the earth, and spirits on this fine first day back to school.

A new crop of eighteen year old girls, all thong in tow, tittered with anticipation of a new career in hairstyling, nursing, or basket manufacturing technology. “Like, omigod! I might even, like, find a new boyfriend?” was heard on occasion.

This was nothing new to me. I had heard, and seen it all twice before, for as of this day, I had become an all-mighty third year student in the Sault College of Applied Arts and Technology-Aviation Technology (Flight) program.

My swagger, ever increasing, book bag swinging even higher, I prowled the halls of the venerable educational institution with a new confidence. This, my last, year would be my best. It would be filled with passionate nights in the simulator, staring at voluptuous gages, adjustable seats, and an erotic, thumb activated trim switch. Women would swoon, and admire, my now even bigger forehead, larger mid-section, and sparkling new glasses with extra tape for comfort. They would laugh and point with amazement at the fine specimen I had Dill Pickle chipped myself into over the past four months.

Two fellas from my class were waiting outside room B1090 for our first class of the new school year. My presence stopped their conversation, and one asked me as I approached, “You made it back? You passed all your classes?”

I replied, “Damn straight, brother.” (An old guy like me can still be hip, you know.) “Got a 1.38 GPA!”

They both slapped their foreheads at the same time (probably mosquitoes, I guess), and appeared astounded. They were speechless, and stood bewildered, shaking their heads, closing their eyes slowly, then looking to the ceiling. I could tell they were worried about West Nile Virus.

A pilot's health is important, so I told them, “Look guys, this is serious, come with me.”

I led them to the Student Health Centre very quickly, never even looking back. When I got there, and turned around, they had vanished. Not good, I had seen this before in one of the Harry Potter movies. Witchcraft. Black Magic. Something like that. I don't know. I forget a lot of things.

I thought the CFI had better be informed, so I immediately went to his office and pounded on the door, even though it was wide open. Protocol, you know.
“ISTP? What are you doing here? I though you would have... But you're a complete...”
I cut him off. “Sir, I believe you should know there's something fishy going on at the College.”
“Really? Go on.”
“Sir, the school is jinxed, or hexed or something. I just saw two of my classmates disappear. Come to think of it, we started off with ninety four people in first year, and now, I think I only saw about forty in B1090. Sir, people are disappearing everywhere. I thought you should know.”

He laughed, and said, “This happens all the time, ISTP. People run out of money, or fail, or can't fly up to college standards in the time we allot. You've been here TWO YEARS already? And you don't know THAT?” He did the same movement as the other students that had vanished. A shaking of the head side to side, slow closing of the eyes, then an upward roll. It donned on me- that's how the spell is triggered!

I had to tell the others. “Sir, I'll be right back!”

With no time to waste, I hurried out the door, and back to room B1090. Sweating profusely, (it's a glandular problem, I think), I yelled to the class, “Watch out! There's a curse on the school! Don't close your eyes! Don't look at the ceiling! Don't shake your head!” Then they did JUST THAT. And some were even laughing at this serious matter. Damn!

I ran back to the CFI's office to tell him that that the entire third year class was about to disappear, but when I got there, he was gone! I asked another instructor, “Have you seen the CFI? “ to which he replied, “Yes. He's gone to a meeting on the second floor.”

“Oh, so that's what YOU call DEATH?!?! A meeting on the SECOND FLOOR!?!? Well I guess he met his maker...”

I was so sad. I thought, “What would David Carradine do?” so I meditated for a couple of hours in the sim room, then went back to room B1090. As I suspected, the spell had worked to terrible perfection- everyone was gone.

“Hmm.” I reflected, “With only me remaining in the graduating class, I'll be at the TOP of the class. I'll be THE undisputed TOP GUN! TOP GUN from Sault College, no less! Oh yeah, that job at Air Canada in May, is looking even better!”

I shifted my duct-tape covered, authentic vinyl, red and blue Adidas bag over my shoulders, like a back-pack, and decided to call it a day.

Walking home, I pondered the notion of being TOP GUN from Sault College, then straight into the 747 with the red maple leaf on the rudder. It made me smile.

-istp

[AV8OR]

ISTP (Goose)

Good to have you back for another year. This year is the year you can impress 'Viper' with your dog-fighting skills in IMC. See you for some more 'TOP GUN' ground school. Hope you know what a SID is now.

[M402]

You couldn't have made it with out that pencil.

[. ._]

Yeah, the Zebra M402 is without a doubt, the luckiest pencil I've ever owned.

http://www.zebrapen.com/products.cfm?prodid=51

What a sexy pencil.

-istp