smiles

[aviator2010]

do you get written up for not smiling?

[Smitty]

Don't be silly...we just take you out back and kick the s**t out of you.

[Rotten Apple #1]

No one gets written up for not smiling at WJ. Not smiling is just one part of the "Happiness Under Management Matrix Report" (HUMMR) that a minority of WJers are subject to, upon being coached by their peers on a too frequent basis. While it does happen to pilots, the employee group most likely to be HUMMR'd turns out to be the male FA group. No one is exactly sure why, but I've always suspected it had something to do with the Honolulu flights they always seem to be doing. Very long flights woh restless guests...

As a group, I'd say only a 5-10 percent subsection of the pilots have been HUMMR'd since I've been here. Only two pilots actually left WJ after being HUMMR'd, but I was told it wasn't because they weren't smiling at the time.

Aviator2010, why not apply, you sound like you might score well on the HUMMR.

[VicMackey]

For what reasons would some pilots leave WJ?

It seems to be the best job in town..

[balfour]

It is.

[Obbie]

Matrix.....there's that word again........keeps popping up.
I bet there are many more of them in the dark halls of upper WJ management.

So what you are saying, is there is a culture of report on your co-workers
when they have reached Kool-aid immunity, so that they can be enrolled in
a program of hightened surveillance which will only serve to give them less
of a reason to smile and in the end threaten their very employment.

Sounds like a very slippery slope to me.

I certainly would not appreciate my career being screwed with by such a
childish and dare I say it "cultish" policy like HUMMR.

ALPA might not be perfect, but one thing they are good at is keeping
horse $hit like this from ever making it's way into the work place.

Drink up people.......Big Brother is watching !!!!!!!!!

[Rotten Apple #1]

Obbie relax, HUMMRs actually make WJ a great place to work, as they generally speaking put smiles on people's faces. It's a very useful tool.

In fact, most WJers received a HUMMR during their initial employment interview without realizing it.

It's something you have to see in action to appreciate.

[jjj]

My wife gave me one of those on my birthday - and man was I smiling!

[toelessjoe]

My wife gave me one of those on my birthday - and man was I smiling!

+1

I think some people just aren't getting it.

[Rotten Apple #1]

Matrix.....there's that word again........keeps popping up.
I bet there are many more of them in the dark halls of upper WJ management.

So what you are saying, is there is a culture of report on your co-workers
when they have reached Kool-aid immunity, so that they can be enrolled in
a program of hightened surveillance which will only serve to give them less
of a reason to smile and in the end threaten their very employment.

Sounds like a very slippery slope to me.

I certainly would not appreciate my career being screwed with by such a
childish and dare I say it "cultish" policy like HUMMR.

ALPA might not be perfect, but one thing they are good at is keeping
horse $hit like this from ever making it's way into the work place.

Drink up people.......Big Brother is watching !!!!!!!!!

Obbie, you obviously do not understand the hows and whys of WestJet's HUMMRs. I suggest you ask your ALPA MEC about our HUMMRs and they'll be able to demonstrate what it's all about.

When I have more time, I'll let you know about our award winning Post-Flight Blumpkins, which are the centre piece of our critical incident debriefs.

[jjj]

Y'know,
I remember thinking during my interview that I wouldn't mind at all if the HR lady gave me a HUMMR.

[Hey Piiilot]

Thats funny, when I was with ALPA I only experienced the RECTAL "Realization of Employees Consensus That ALPA Loots" every time I opened my paycheck

[Rotten Apple #1]

I bet there are many more of them in the dark halls of upper WJ management.

I see the title of a book in the making. Although there is that that 'right to natural light' at the new campus, so that might be a bit of a non sequitir.

I see that Obbie is a university graduate, at least that's what he's posted in the past. Hmmm, money well spent?

[Hey Piiilot]

I bet there are many more of them in the dark halls of upper WJ management.

Muhahahahaaaaaa!!!Muhahahaaaaaaa!!!

[Obbie]

Jonny Dangerous - you had to go way back in order to find my education.

I am honored you are so interested in me.
I tip my hat to you sir

Some might be a little freaked out at your passion to so thoroughly
try to examine me, but I understand it is simply what you are use to over there.

Identify the non-conformer, initiate hightened surveillance, and proceed with
extraction from the collective.

Resistance is futile.

[Giveitago]

Obbie......this is KILLING me.....I haven't chuckled so much on this forum in a while.....

Please read the following definition of "Hummer"

hummer:
1. An act of oral-sex performed on the penis . See fellatio for synonyms. SEE ALSO: hum-job .

2. A person who fellates. See fellator for synonyms.

3. In porno movie-making, a scene featuring fellatio .

4. In England, according to Roger's Profanisaurus , the arse .

Now that you have that firmly entrenched into the vocabulary please take the time to refresh understanding of "Humor"

humour US, humor [ˈhjuːmə]
n
1. the quality of being funny
2. Also called sense of humour the ability to appreciate or express that which is humorous
3. situations, speech, or writings that are thought to be humorous
4.
a. a state of mind; temper; mood
b. (in combination) ill humour good humour
5. temperament or disposition
6. a caprice or whim
7. (Life Sciences & Allied Applications / Physiology) any of various fluids in the body, esp the aqueous humour and vitreous humour
8. (Life Sciences & Allied Applications / Physiology) Also called cardinal humour Archaic any of the four bodily fluids (blood, phlegm, choler or yellow bile, melancholy or black bile) formerly thought to determine emotional and physical disposition
out of humour in a bad mood

Now please apply the understanding of "Humor" into the post of Johnny's regarding the "HUMMR" matrix applied at WJ.


Get it???

Give

[Obbie]

Give......

I am confident everyone has been on the same page
regarding the pun since the first post.

But thank you for that very robust and thorough explanation.

A+

[Giveitago]

Your Welcome Obbie....I try to be thorough....

After your Kool-Aid posting I wasn't so sure.....my bad....I will re-examine the definition of "Humour" and apply to your posting.

Give

[Cat Driver]

Do the pilots ever get HUMMR's from the male cabin attendants on those long Hawaii flights?

[balfour]

Do the pilots ever get HUMMR's from the male cabin attendants on those long Hawaii flights?

No, but that doesn't stop them from asking.

[jjj]

Give......

I am confident everyone has been on the same page
regarding the pun since the first post.

But thank you for that very robust and thorough explanation.

A+

20 bucks says Obbie read Giveitago's post and quickly started to get red in the face .

Nice try Obbie - you'd of done better just by deleting/editing your previous post.

[Rotten Apple #1]

Alright I've had my fun at Obbie's expense.

And I apologize to the poster known as DaveP for intimating in any way that he/she may or may not have ever supplied anyone/thing with any kind of sexual favour/act. Such was not intentional. Per a request from the poster known as DaveP, I have edited my post. My sense of humour is apparently not shared by all, and I get that.

That said, a moderator had already removed the poster DaveP's name from the offending post. Curious. I understand removing threads/posts identifying a real person by name. I shall have to reread the forum guidelines, as I am sure that satire that might be construed as implying a sexual act with regards to a forum member must be verboten as well.

Once again DaveP, I apologize. Your contributions to potential new hires outweighs my satirical posts.

On to the next battle.

John Swallow
Captain Hummr

[DaveP]

I prefer being left out of your satirical views. Thanks anyway.

[complexintentions]

edited for content

[Jastapilot]

There's nothing worse than reading a thread after it's been butchered to bits. Dammit, I need a HUMMR now!