If you care about the environment you won't fly!

200hr Wonder · Post by **200hr Wonder** » Thu May 24, 2007 10:35 pm

DENIS LEARY - ASSHOLE

(Spoken)
Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American dream.
About me, about you, about the way our American hearts beat way down
in the bottom of our chests. About the special feeling we get in the
cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the subcockle
area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the
colon, we don't know.

(Sung)
I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job.
I'm your average white suburbanite slob.
I like football and porno and books about war.
I've got an average house with a nice hardwood floor.

My wife and my job, my kids and my car.
My feet on my table and a cuban cigar.

But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested
(oh no) no way (uh-uh)
No, I've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense
(oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane,
While people behind me are going insane.

I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, such an asshole)
I use public toilets and piss on the seat,
I walk around in the summertime saying "How about this heat?"
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)
Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces,
While handicapped people make handicapped faces.
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's a real fucking asshole)

Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong
NAAAAH!

I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's the world's biggest asshole)

(Spoken)
Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado,
hot-fuckin'-pink, with whaleskin hubcaps and all-leather cow interior and big
brown baby seal eyes for headlights... yeah! And I'm gonna drive around in
that baby doing 115 miles an hour, getting 1 mile per gallon, suckin' down
quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non-
biodegradable styrofoam containers... yeah! And when I'm done suckin' down
those greaseball burgers I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the
side, and there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it. You know why?
Because we got the bombs, that's why... yeah! Two words--nuclear fuckin'
weapons, OK? Russia, Czechoslovakia, Romania, they can have all the democracy
they want...they can have a democracy cakewalk right through the middle of
Tienamen Square and it won't make a lick of fuckin' difference, because we got
the bombs, OK? John Wayne's not dead--he's frozen! And when we find a cure for
cancer, we're gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You
know why? You ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15 million
times--that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and
John Casavetti and Sam Peckinpaw and a case of fuckin' whisky and drive...

(Hey, hey, hey, hey, you know you really are an asshole?)

Why don't you shut up and sing the song, Chris. I thought I was the
asshole... all the time it was him... what an asshole!

(Sung)
I'm an asshole (I'm an asshole, he's an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)
A S-S H-O L-E
Everybody, A S-S H-O L-E
Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay
A-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom
Oooooooo

(Spoken)
I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it!

Bubbaganoosh · Post by **Bubbaganoosh** » Sat May 26, 2007 9:52 pm

ei ei owe wrote:Blaming chemtrails for the impotence eh Cat?

Viagra is a byproduct of chemtrails - lucky thing eh

invertedattitude · Post by **invertedattitude** » Sat May 26, 2007 11:11 pm

Try punching in Halifax - London.... apparently the only way to enter the Atlantic to swim is via New York

SierraPoppa · Post by **SierraPoppa** » Sun May 27, 2007 8:34 am

invertedattitude wrote:Try punching in Halifax - London.... apparently the only way to enter the Atlantic to swim is via New York

Actually if you zoom in on the map you'll find that no matter where you start out in North America you'll enter the Atlantic from Boston not New York.

oldtimer · Post by **oldtimer** » Sun May 27, 2007 9:19 am

Anybody ever consider the pollution (noise) caused by skate boards or by cyclists farting as they grind up the grassy knolls.
Gimme a good smokin' noisey old HEMI any day.

1000 HP · Post by **1000 HP** » Mon May 28, 2007 2:35 pm

Look at all the stars! When we use this planet up, there are more out there

bynaul · Post by **bynaul** » Mon May 28, 2007 7:15 pm

What does a 2002 British Royal Commission study know about this stuff anyway?

http://www.rcep.org.uk/news/02-05.htm

Or some cheesy U.K. newspaper for that matter?

http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/transp ... 359090.ece

TripleBFlyboy · Post by **TripleBFlyboy** » Mon May 28, 2007 7:28 pm

the average transport truck burns 4-5 miles to the gallon.

Mostly Harmless · Post by **Mostly Harmless** » Mon May 28, 2007 8:26 pm

Very odd... I posted this once already but it disapeared.

How stuff works

How much fuel does an international plane use for a trip?

A plane like a Boeing 747 uses approximately 1 gallon of fuel (about 4 liters) every second. Over the course of a 10-hour flight, it might burn 36,000 gallons (150,000 liters). According to Boeing's Web site, the 747 burns approximately 5 gallons of fuel per mile (12 liters per kilometer).

This sounds like a tremendously poor miles-per-gallon rating! But consider that a 747 can carry as many as 568 people. Let's call it 500 people to take into account the fact that not all seats on most flights are occupied. A 747 is transporting 500 people 1 mile using 5 gallons of fuel. That means the plane is burning 0.01 gallons per person per mile. In other words, the plane is getting 100 miles per gallon per person! The typical car gets about 25 miles per gallon, so the 747 is much better than a car carrying one person, and compares favorably even if there are four people in the car. Not bad when you consider that the 747 is flying at 550 miles per hour (900 km/h)!

Rotten Apple #1 · Post by **Rotten Apple #1** » Tue May 29, 2007 7:55 am

Nation

Q&A on the News

Tucson, Arizona | Published: 05.14.2007

Q. Has the amount of carbon dioxide produced by jet airliners flying high above the Earth been measured? How does this high-altitude CO2 compare per unit with that produced at the Earth's surface with regard to global warming?

A. According to a recent analysis of data by USA Today, a commercial jet generates 840 to 1,660 pounds of carbon dioxide per passenger on a New York-to-Denver flight. That's about what a typical sport utility vehicle generates in a month.

According to a 1999 report sponsored by the United Nations, some pollutants emitted from jets flying in the upper atmosphere have a greater warming effect than when gases are released in the same amounts on land.

cruisecontrol · Post by **cruisecontrol** » Thu May 31, 2007 7:48 pm

Make the switch, this'll stick it to the oil companies.

http://www.skytec-engineering.de/hpa.htm

North Shore · Post by **North Shore** » Fri Jun 01, 2007 11:02 am

Sure, except if you look at the useable load, you'll need to weigh less than 69.5 kilos (153lb) not very useful for your average lard-ass North American. Then, there's the issue of 225 watts - again, not incredibly attainable by most people....