Stupid questions about flying

Redneck_pilot86 · Post by **Redneck_pilot86** » Sun Jul 30, 2006 1:55 pm

buck82 wrote:So this half joking/smart ass statement gets made at the start of charter.

Q. So... I hope this isn't like your first day on the job.

A. Nope... thats tomorrow.... as long as we make it back today.

Love it

. ._ · Post by **. ._** » Sun Jul 30, 2006 2:31 pm

Guy in bar: You're a pilot, eh?

Me: Yep, I can fly little planes.

Guy in bar: Did you know the CF-18 cruises at 825 knots per hour?

Me: Uh, no.

Guy in bar: Jeez! I know these things, and I don't even fly. You're a pilot, you should KNOW these things! I think you better hit the books, buddy.

Me: Uh, yeah. (walks away)

Troubleshot · Post by **Troubleshot** » Sun Jul 30, 2006 4:35 pm

Here's one for the maintenance crowd...I know you've all heard it at least once.

"you fix airplanes ?....for who ?"

"well I'm never flying with them again...followed by a chuckle and a "just kidding" or a light punch to the arm.

or

Some Guy: " so your an Aircraft Maintenance Engineer ....but you don't actually fix the airplanes right?

Me:sure do

Some Guy: yeah but not the engines right..

Me:....

costermonger · Post by **costermonger** » Sun Jul 30, 2006 5:11 pm

mellow_pilot wrote:Joe Blow: "What did you go to school for?"

Me: "Aviation."

JB: "Oh, so you want to be a pilot?"

Me: "I am a pilot."

JB: "Really?"

Me (in my head): "No, not really, I just like saying that so stupid people can get that dumb look on their face."

JB: "So, can you fly an airliner?"

All the freakin time!!!

I swear, I'm gonna get a pamphlet made for those people.

Another one along the same lines that I get occasionally when people find out I'm a pilot is "so when you become a pilot, does that mean you actually get to fly planes?"

I'm never quite sure how to respond to that.

. ._ · Post by **. ._** » Sun Jul 30, 2006 5:32 pm

Pilots make good money, right?

AUGER9 · Post by **AUGER9** » Sun Jul 30, 2006 6:25 pm

mellow_pilot wrote:Joe Blow: "What did you go to school for?"

Me: "Aviation."

JB: "Oh, so you want to be a pilot?"

Me: "I am a pilot."

JB: "Really?"

Me (in my head): "No, not really, I just like saying that so stupid people can get that dumb look on their face."

JB: "So, can you fly an airliner?"

All the freakin time!!!

haha,
Mine went like this:

Guy: "So what are you going to school for?"

Me: "Aviation."

Guy: "Oh, so you're gonna be a flight attendant?"

Me: "No.... A pilot."

Guy: "Really? What are you gonna fly, like, airplanes?"

Me: "Uh.... yeah."

200hr Wonder · Post by **200hr Wonder** » Sun Jul 30, 2006 7:28 pm

Random Person: So what do you do?
Me: I am a flight instructor.
Random Person: Cool, so do you want to go commerical some day?

Herm

com-mer-cail

adj.

Having profit as a chief aim: a commercial book, not a scholarly tome.

Gee no I do not get paid to be a flight instructor grrrrr

AntiNakedMan · Post by **AntiNakedMan** » Sun Jul 30, 2006 9:35 pm

I think they just meant real pilot.

Sorry, could not resist

Anti

mellow_pilot · Post by **mellow_pilot** » Sun Jul 30, 2006 10:20 pm

So I'm working a landscaping job for the summer to pay for school.

Doing some retaining walls at a guys house and get talking about the pilot thing, out comes the enevitable:

Guy: So how much do pilots make?

Me: It depends. Some make a little, some make a lot.

Guy: Like, how much does an Aircanada guy make?

Me: It really all depends.

Guy: Gimme a ballpark.

Me (just to shut him up): Anywhere from 40K starting to 200K for senior pilots.

Guy: Wow! You suckers make less in a year than I make in a month!

Me: (in my head) And yet you live in Surrey, in a 600K home, which is probably mortgaged? Your fucking wall is gonna fall over bitch.

BlueSkies12 · Post by **BlueSkies12** » Mon Jul 31, 2006 12:41 am

I think they just meant real pilot.

Ooooh, that's just good shit.

Guy: So you're a pilot
Pilot: Yes, a flight instructor
Guy: Do you get dizzy doing that
Pilot: Why would i get dizzy
Guy: Well you fly around in circles all day

Swerved · Post by **Swerved** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 7:12 am

Best question I heard was to one of our female Captains. They asked "So...are you on a high-school co-op program?" Sure, she looked young, but come on...

Swerved.

. ._ · Post by **. ._** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 7:29 am

Swerved wrote:Best question I heard was to one of our female Captains. They asked "So...are you on a high-school co-op program?" Sure, she looked young, but come on...

I gotta try that as a pick-up line! (None of my other ones have been working.)

-istp

Apache64_ · Post by **Apache64_** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 11:14 am

Doing sched work on a Navajo into Poplar River, I landed unloaded my pax. Started looking for the southbound ones. Guy walks up to me, and says " So, we flying to day?". Nope were driving, soon as you point me to the road. I think to myself.

Kilo-Kilo · Post by **Kilo-Kilo** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 11:43 am

"Will you please stop talking to us and go sit back down at your own table? We get it, you're a pilot."

Pratt · Post by **Pratt** » Wed Aug 02, 2006 7:24 pm

Flying floats on the rock, had this asked of me, usually by American fishermen/hunters more than once:

Q: Do you carry parachutes on this plane?

A: Yes, we carry Newfie parachutes.

Q: Really, what are those?

A: They are the type that open on impact.

No further questions asked.

grounded · Post by **grounded** » Sat Aug 05, 2006 8:06 am

Picking up one passenger for a trip single pilot. After enduring enough questions from this guy that I should have just given him a resume, He asks me this one:

"So what's the best seat in this thing to get some sleep?"

"Mine" I reply, deadpan serious

Not one word the rest of the flight, and I didn't even see him blink when I looked back to check on him!

Brint · Post by **Brint** » Sun Aug 06, 2006 9:57 am

"So...do you want to fly commercial, or do you just do this for fun?"

Flying over a bunch of cabins just north of Armstrong, American fisherman says:

"Is that Thunder Bay, or what the hell is that??"

water wings · Post by **water wings** » Sun Aug 06, 2006 10:17 am

Brint wrote: Flying over a bunch of cabins just north of Armstrong, American fisherman says:

"Is that Thunder Bay, or what the hell is that??"

when i was an FA, i had a few Americans unaware of where they were actually going - despite having purchased the ticket for their Cariboo-shooting holiday... i mean, you go up to the bloody arctic, you think you would take enough interest in knowing where you are going to be spending a week and 10G...

my faves: "do you all speak American?" and upon landing in Kuujjuuak, "are we still in Canadiana?"
"thank you Mrs. Yow, for a loverly flight" (YOW - the Ottawa Airport ID on my red pass

) i used to be tight with Miss Lax, till she moved in with Mr. Yul.

i know, not pilot related, but Brint reminded me of those days of chicken or char...

sakism · Post by **sakism** » Sun Aug 06, 2006 2:33 pm

water wings wrote:...a few Americans unaware of where they were actually going...

Just the other day in the Esso in Winnipeg, an American approached me from the vending machines, waved a $1 USD bill in my face and asked if the machines took bills.

BlueSkies12 · Post by **BlueSkies12** » Sun Aug 06, 2006 2:51 pm

I think it's funny when we fly them to their 5 star fishing camp up north and they think they're roughing it in the bush. Spending more money for 4 days of fishing than i make in a year.

Lately every charter someone has asked me if we have parachutes as well. At what point in an emergency would you decide, screw this, i'm outta here.

mellow_pilot · Post by **mellow_pilot** » Sun Aug 06, 2006 8:52 pm

Had a passenger in a glider find tag on his seat coushin (you know, the one that says "new material only, do not remove until delivered to consumer"). It was all faded and he couldn't read it, so he asks, "Is this this the ejcetion handle?" It was too good to pass up, I yelled, "DONT TOUCH THAT!!! IT'S ARMED!"

Gliders are also fun cause you always get the question about the spoiler handle. I told one friend that it was a quick release for the wings so you could load it on a trailer easier. Then I pulled it and the thing started to drop. (I think I may have thrown in a bit of a foward slip too

)

Blue Side Down · Post by **Blue Side Down** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 7:04 pm

Pratt wrote:Flying floats on the rock, had this asked of me, usually by American fishermen/hunters more than once:

Q: Do you carry parachutes on this plane?

A: Yes, we carry Newfie parachutes.

Q: Really, what are those?

A: They are the type that open on impact.

No further questions asked.

Wow... thats gold

Greg87 · Post by **Greg87** » Thu Aug 10, 2006 4:52 am

I have to confess this is one of the idiotic coments I made as a passenger on a plane. After we were in the air and not in the way of anything the pilot let me have control of the plane. I was quite nervous, and he asked if I was just quiet or nervous, and I made the (all too common) reply that I was scared of screwing up and crashing. The point was then made that he didn't want to crash either, and for his own sake would likely prevent the plane from creating a fresh hole in the ground. I know I'm not the only one to have said this, being on the ground crew at the warplane heritage museum in mount hope, I've heard this from passengers about to go up for a Harvard or Stearman flight several times.

BlueSkies12 · Post by **BlueSkies12** » Thu Aug 10, 2006 10:14 pm

Yeah, they're all scared of crashing. Understandable. Had a woman say the other day, i'm not scared of flying, "BUT NOT IN THE RAIN." It's taken me a long time to overcome my fear of those little condensation nuclei droplets, they'll swallow you whole.

mellow_pilot · Post by **mellow_pilot** » Thu Aug 10, 2006 10:37 pm

She probably knows about the dreaded propeller erosion!