Radio calls

[40echotango]

Come on guys!

You don't need to make position reports every 5 minutes. THINK before you key that mic, nobody needs to hear you pontificate your position! All it takes is a few seconds to figure it out before you talk so you at least sound like you're somewhat competent.

ALSO making animal noises, playing music (aka the metro going into ZGI last week playing snoop dogg on 126.7, nice touch ), and general stupidity on the radio is enough to make any responsible and mature pilot want to rip their headset off!

Want to be silly and stupid? Become a radio DJ! That's where this garbage belongs!

Anyone else want to add to the rant?

40ET

[cgzro]

I always found it amusing when practice IFR traffic at an uncontrolled airport on a sunny day with lots of VFR traffic reports what approach fix they are at etc. and does not seem to realize the VFR traffic often does not have a clue where the are or what they are doing.

[mato]

YOU'RE ONNN GUARDDDDD

[timel]

https://youtu.be/MDdG42l3uOQ

[North Shore]

I always found it amusing when practice IFR traffic at an uncontrolled airport on a sunny day with lots of VFR traffic reports what approach fix they are at etc. and does not seem to realize the VFR traffic often does not have a clue where the are or what they are doing.

Ha ha. That cuts both ways, though, cgzro. I was about 10 miles back from my base a few days back, and in response to a potential IFR conflict, replied that I was over XX Lake ( a fairly large lake in the area). "XX lake? I don't know where that is?" was the reply (from a carrier that flies into that airport several times a day). Doubtless if I'd said 6.5DME on the 060R, they would have figured it out...

[photofly]

Doubtless if I'd said 6.5DME on the 060R, they would have figured it out...

So, did you say that, and assist a fellow pilot not as well versed in local landmarks as you? Or did you leave them in the dark?

[cgzro]

Yeah and controllers telling you to turn base at the Zellers or was it the Ikea (Vancouver?), or report over the Waddling Dog (Victoria). "Unfamiliar" is your friend ;)

[niss]

And how people ask for any traffic please advise. Other people have that happen too right? Are there people doing that in any other part of the country? Huh guys? Huh? Has anyone brought this up before? Like at all? Like in the history of aviation in Canada? Right guys?

[IWANTTOFLYYIN]

My favorite is on 126.7 " Any conflicting traffic please advise" Like seriously we do not need to hear that verbal diarrhea

[Panama Jack]

Come on guys!

You don't need to make position reports every 5 minutes. THINK before you key that mic, nobody needs to hear you pontificate your position! All it takes is a few seconds to figure it out before you talk so you at least sound like you're somewhat competent.

ALSO making animal noises, playing music (aka the metro going into ZGI last week playing snoop dogg on 126.7, nice touch ), and general stupidity on the radio is enough to make any responsible and mature pilot want to rip their headset off!

Want to be silly and stupid? Become a radio DJ! That's where this garbage belongs!

Anyone else want to add to the rant?

40ET

Regarding your Metro Snoop Doggy Dogg and the Zoo radio station, don't just tell AvCanada about it. Tell Industry Canada:

https://www.ic.gc.ca/eic/site/icgc.nsf/ ... 0-Hsf10951

[HiFlyChick]

Yeah and controllers telling you to turn base at the Zellers or was it the Ikea (Vancouver?), or report over the Waddling Dog (Victoria). "Unfamiliar" is your friend

Not the Waddling Dog!!! I've never flown in Victoria, but my husband tells a story about his first time there being asked to report over the Waddling Dog and I must admit, I always wondered if he wasn't embellishing for the sake of a good story... The Waddling Dog....

I recall years ago instructing a student on their night rating and having tower ask us to call a certain lake on the edge of the zone. A lake... with no towns near it... in the dark.... "Ummmm, how about a DME on a VOR radial...?"

[av8ts]

Two of my favourites are. 1. Hey center you got time for a quick question? If I was center I would answer yes just one and you used it. 2. Tower flight xxx ready in sequence. Why are you saying in sequence. Tower knows your sequence and you'll go when it's your turn.

[lownslow]

2. Tower flight xxx ready in sequence. Why are you saying in sequence. Tower knows your sequence and you'll go when it's your turn.

I always took this to mean, "Yes I see that there are two planes in front of me and six on final, no need to spell it all out."

[AirFrame]

2. Tower flight xxx ready in sequence. Why are you saying in sequence. Tower knows your sequence and you'll go when it's your turn.

I always took this to mean, "Yes I see that there are two planes in front of me and six on final, no need to spell it all out."

That's how I always heard it used, and have used it myself that way. Tower usually responds with "FABC, Roger" or something equally short. If I didn't do that, I got the long "sit tight, two in front of you, six on final, I need a pee break, and oh, it's lunchtime so you might as well just shut down for an hour".

[schnitzel2k3]

Meow.

[linecrew]

///Tower flight xxx ready in sequence. Why are you saying in sequence. Tower knows your sequence and you'll go when it's your turn.

Tower may not actually know depending on the aerodrome. If you happen to call before the aircraft ahead of you makes their initial call to tower and tower doesn't see or know this, they might clear you either to line up or to take off. Now you gotta make additional radio calls to explain that you are not in fact the first in line for departure blah blah blah. Sooo "ready in sequence" seems appropriate in some places.

[oldtimer]

My favorite was when an American cowboy, (that was what he did for a living) called Calgary VFR for landing instructions. Calgary ATC cleared him in to call "over the white tanks" (oil storage tanks very visible from the south) and what is your position.
Guy says he is over the turkey farm.
Where is the turkey farm?
You tell me where those white tanks are and I will tell you where this turkey farm is.

[Gannet167]

Two of my favourites are. 1. Hey center you got time for a quick question? If I was center I would answer yes just one and you used it. 2. Tower flight xxx ready in sequence. Why are you saying in sequence. Tower knows your sequence and you'll go when it's your turn.

I understand what you're saying, however, some things to consider:

1. Center may not have time for a question. It's polite to ask. Even when the freq is quiet, the controller may be running several sectors on several frequencies, assisting an emergency aircraft, doing training, etc. etc. So, not bad etiquette to ask, especially if it's not something pertinent to flying.

2. Ready in sequence also lets tower know that you're ready if and when you become #1. If it's a busy runway and tower thinks you might be able to roll an immediate between other planes, this lets tower know you're spring loaded to launch. It's better than "hey XXX, you on frequency? XXX are you ready? Are you able an immediate?" Otherwise, you may just sit there while the 6 on final land. It's like saying "I'm ready whenever you're ready, happy to fit in the flow if you can."

[lazyeight]

Come on guys!

You don't need to make position reports every 5 minutes. THINK before you key that mic, nobody needs to hear you pontificate your position! All it takes is a few seconds to figure it out before you talk so you at least sound like you're somewhat competent.

ALSO making animal noises, playing music (aka the metro going into ZGI last week playing snoop dogg on 126.7, nice touch ), and general stupidity on the radio is enough to make any responsible and mature pilot want to rip their headset off!

Want to be silly and stupid? Become a radio DJ! That's where this garbage belongs!

Anyone else want to add to the rant?

40ET

Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

Only thing that bothered me is the float guys calling over random lakes when near a busy airport. Call out N/S/E/W and NM like everyone else. And the good old "conflicting" calls. Sounds like nothing has changed.

[B208]

I always found it amusing when practice IFR traffic at an uncontrolled airport on a sunny day with lots of VFR traffic reports what approach fix they are at etc. and does not seem to realize the VFR traffic often does not have a clue where the are or what they are doing.

Ha ha. That cuts both ways, though, cgzro. I was about 10 miles back from my base a few days back, and in response to a potential IFR conflict, replied that I was over XX Lake ( a fairly large lake in the area). "XX lake? I don't know where that is?" was the reply (from a carrier that flies into that airport several times a day). Doubtless if I'd said 6.5DME on the 060R, they would have figured it out...

A good solution is to include both the fix and a position relative to the airport in the call.

E.g.
"Dauphin traffic GABC 15NM northwest of Dauphin doing the RNAV 14 via SIDGI"

[Rockie]

Ready in sequence also lets tower know that you're ready if and when you become #1. If it's a busy runway and tower thinks you might be able to roll an immediate between other planes, this lets tower know you're spring loaded to launch.

.

"Ready in sequence" is not the same as "ready for immediate". If they need you to do an immediate they should specifically ask if you're able whether you say "ready in sequence" or not. If you are indeed ready and willing to accept an "immediate" takeoff clearance you could specifically tell him that when you check-in with him and you see lots of traffic, he may appreciate it if he can use it in his planning.

I don't know why anyone would get twisted about "ready in sequence" though, sometimes it's appropriate to the circumstance - sometimes not.

[Broken Slinky]

My favorite is on 126.7 " Any conflicting traffic please advise" Like seriously we do not need to hear that verbal diarrhea

Last Saturday in southern Ontario was especially bad for it. Position calls describing some little known lake in the middle of nowhere, listing the aircraft type and call sign, speed, direction, altitude, what aerodrome they were going to, what they were having for lunch and what their last bowel movement looked like.
It was a toss up whether to go NORDO or pick up flight following. Chose FF so I could deal with somewhat more intelligent radio calls.

[Meatservo]

Boy this thread sure makes being a pilot sound exciting and interesting!

[valleyboy]

The biggest problem with blind traffic advisories is the verbal diarrhea which renders the whole long winded xmission as usless because you can't figure out where the person is or where they are going. I could care less where you left from I just want to know where you are going, that's all nothing else and if there is no traffic in the first place what did the long winded xmission accomplish -- nothing at all, short sweet and if someone answers then work it out, no one needs all that extra fluff. Oh ya why do people do MF advisories on the enroute frequency, stop doing that and the reduction in traffic would be amazing and certainly cut down on the heterodyne.

But if the urge to talk is so great make it count. Enunciate, speak clearly in a logical pattern and slow down. I think at least 75 percent of traffic advisories on 126.7 are confusing and serve no purpose and usually I end up thinking "am I close to an airport with runway xx"

One more thing -- using TCAS as an excuse to call someone when you obviously could monitor and realize you will miss by 20 miles -- that is just like finger nails on a black board -- oh ya disable the radio side tone and the traffic on frequency would likely be cut in half -- obviously some people just like to hear themselves talk -- haha

That is what is so nice about flying the arctic.

[Wings516]

Ah, venting time!

As an instructor I tend to spend quite a fair amount of time on 26.7 and the uselessness of some of the stuff I hear drives me up the wall. I think every call I've ever heard (especially on a nice VFR Saturday) can be summed up in the following example:

"Uhhhhh yeeeah this is uhhhh Cessna 172 Skyhawk with a STOL kit and uhhhh blue upholstery Golf uhhhhhh Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. We were last off my private grass runway by Lake Whogivesacrap halfway now to uhhhhhh Lake Probablynotonyourmap. Uhhhhhh, we're at 4500 feet maybe climbing higher around uhhhhhhh Lake Ilikehearingmyownvoice. Any conflicting traffic on 126.7 along my entire route of flight please advise of uhhhhhh have a nice day? Yeah. Hey Bob are you on frequency?! How's it going? Wanna meet for lunch? Once again any conflicts on 26.7 advise."

On the brighter side of all this useless chatter, these cringe-worthy calls are great teachable moments for the students listening in!

(Yes instructors, we have the power to stop this!)