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How do YOU spell relief?
Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2010 5:49 pm
by Castorero
What do you do when you have been up in the air for hours and now you have to pee BAD, really bad, painfully bad, and you are the only one in the airplane with no auto pilot etc?
Re: How do YOU spell relief?
Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2010 6:05 pm
by mr.jinks
Land on a random lake and hang a piss off the float...
Re: How do YOU spell relief?
Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2010 6:07 pm
by rigpiggy
Re: How do YOU spell relief?
Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2010 7:22 pm
by xsbank
Ziplock bag or empty water bottle. Be sure to leave it on the plane for the next crew to deal with.
Re: How do YOU spell relief?
Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2010 7:33 pm
by Pratt
Make sure you have it trimmed up first.
Re: How do YOU spell relief?
Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2010 7:35 pm
by ScudRunner
xsbank wrote:Ziplock bag or empty water bottle. Be sure to leave it on the plane for the next crew to deal with.
Nah Pitch it out "gods must be crazy" style.
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Re: How do YOU spell relief?
Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2010 8:08 pm
by matt777
Pratt wrote:Make sure you have it trimmed up first.
The airplane? or...
Re: How do YOU spell relief?
Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 6:03 pm
by frozen solid
Don't throw a garbage bag of poop out the left window of a twin otter... the last guy who did this certainly knows why...
Re: How do YOU spell relief?
Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 8:00 pm
by iflyforpie
Find a convenient airport (still the only reason I ever landed in Nakusp).
Barf bags work in a pinch...
Re: How do YOU spell relief?
Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 9:31 pm
by Castorero
Some very good suggestions here.
I would never have thought of zip lock and barf bags, but why not?
Plastic water bottles seem to be everywhere these days. Unfortunately the neck opening is kinda small, unless you are blessed with a real weaner.
A Mason jar would come handy, if they were handy in the first place.
Jack Lamb's account of his trip from Kabul to Thompson Manitoba included his solution to this problem: a styrofoam cup which he held to a slightly open side window in the DC-3 for suction disposal.
Well, dont try this in a Beaver with bubble windows, they seem to get in the way of the disposal stream. Is that what happened in the Twin Otter?
Back to the small necked plastic bottle that seems to be always around...You need good solid contact with the opening unless you want to wear some extra eau de pissoir, and the thing needs to displace the air inside as it fills. A small hole punched into the neck of the bottle, high up, works good, otherwise the air comes out the top, and it doesn't come out by itself, as I found out.
I like the idea of the commercial unit that has a twist cap, but it is a bit too clinical and everybody know what it is right away.
A diaper might work as well, but how could you live that down if your buds found out?
Re: How do YOU spell relief?
Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 11:19 pm
by Hoov
Gatorade bottles work great, they have a large mouth so size/turbulence wont be an issue.
Re: How do YOU spell relief?
Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 6:13 am
by Heliian
jesus h christ, you've never heard of piss jugs, it's the way of the road, er air. You gotta see the piss jugs on TPB, gallon size milk jugs, good for multiple uses and they have a big enough opening, just make sure you deburr the mouth first.
De Havilland solved this issue in the original DHC-2 with the option to install a pilot releif tube that drained/vacuumed out under the belly, I don't have any pictures of it but it's just a small funnel with a tube that goes out into the airstream.
Re: How do YOU spell relief?
Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 7:26 am
by Driving Rain
For the pilots out there who are taking instruction on older aircraft ....for Gods sake learn the difference between a relief tube and a gossport tube. Your instructor will thank you.

Re: How do YOU spell relief?
Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 8:36 am
by PAJ
Re: How do YOU spell relief?
Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 9:06 am
by North Shore
Hoov wrote:Gatorade bottles work great, they have a large mouth so size/turbulence wont be an issue.
+1 to this. Just gotta hope that you, personally, have less than 500ml on board, or you'll run out of space..
Castor, what's your gender? Most of these answers are from a male point of view.... Women could have more of a problem...
Re: How do YOU spell relief?
Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 9:54 am
by Driving Rain
Back in my 215 days we used to pee in the foam tanks. The Ontario system had caps on top of the tanks. Heck I suppose you could do number two in there too although I never did.
For Gods sake don't ever bring apple juice on board on these occasions. It's too easy to confuse the two.

Re: How do YOU spell relief?
Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 10:04 am
by Rowdy
After a bunch of ferry trips in the twotters.. where we stagger across the north atlantic and what have you for up to 10hrs air time.. The larger gatorade bottles work wonders!! They're about as big as the average bladder (so dont hold it till you're actually gonna burst) and the opening is the right size for the average dude. I'm told even a bunch of my female cohorts have used them with great success.
Ziplock bags are a bad idea unless it's a super calm day.. if they go-a-flyin' in turbulence you'll end up soaked. Never. Again.
Re: How do YOU spell relief?
Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 10:06 am
by Brown Bear
"Hey man, can I borrow your thermos?"
"Is that cooler empty?"
"If I can just get this thing a little further out the little side window....ooooowwww!!!"
"I'll need to three bag this puppy..."
"Now, where did I put that empty Gator Aid bottle...."
Women? It all "depends"......
MEC sells these little funnel things for the girls....still going to need a bottle though....

Re: How do YOU spell relief?
Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 1:09 pm
by culshawm